This post is in response to a post by Fire Crystal about a girl’s right to career. This blog derives heavily from my personal experience, blogs & books I have read and songs to which I have lent my ears to.
Often many parents ignore the fact that “Ramming one’s point down the throat of another will NOT work no matter how correct the point might be.” The case of Ananya is a typical case of disagreement between a parent and a child where the parent is intolerant to the alternate choice of his child and is trying to enforce his view point onto the child without any (near-to-zilch) logical debate around the issue. More often than not, child in these cases tends to accept these enforced decisions with a caveat of passing the buck to their parents in case of the choice not materializing successfully. But siree, ain’t we fostering an environment wherein a child can easily prefer to be irresponsible?
Parents need to realize that “Individuals need to be themselves responsible for what happens to them. Merely passing the buck is irresponsibility.” Hence, let the child make choices and decisions which impact his/her life the most. Shit might happen but let the buck stop with your child.
Ananya’s dad needs to realize the above said statements. Based on the narration in the post, I deduce that no one has given much effort to convince Ananya’s dad on the matter. Ananya needs to take proactive efforts (probably making him talk to her teachers, the course administrators about the usefulness of the course etc). Moreover, Ananya should reflect the confidence that taking an alternate course will only enhance her chances of leading a better life. If her Dad is able to see such confidence in her, I think he would agree (but this might take time).
In case her Dad disagrees, let Ananya pursue the other course and let her try making a good living out of the other course. In either case, I would urge her to talk and to discuss her desires with her Dad more. Simply do not hold back your thoughts and desire and do not place your happiness in others’ hands. A few lines for Ananya to remember
Remember, There are no free lunches in life.No matter how much support you have from people around you, at the end of the day, you are going to be on your own. YOU are the one who has to live your life, and you are your own staunchest, most unswervingly loyal ally. No one is as concerned about your happiness as you.
P.S: I borrow a few lines from Savage Garden’s song Affirmation – “I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do…… ” – There is no manual to parenting and parents always make decisions keeping the best interest of their child in mind. Their choices are half chances as everybody else’s and hence shit happens.
P.P.S: Some references made in the post belong to the following blogs and you might find these blogs/posts interesting: